59 Things My Mother Did For Me

Ever since I read ‘49 ways to love a woman’ by my senior colleague, Online Editor of The Nation, Mr Lekan Otufodunrin, I have been racking my brain on how to lend my voice to celebrate a woman. I fell in love with the write up to the point that I was very eager to write and show the world my own side of loving a woman. I decided to write a similar piece about my wife titled “31 Reasons Why You Need A Woman”. Just as I was meditating on this topic, I remembered that I also have some experience in marriage compared with Uncle Lekan’s twenty years journey of blissful marriage. If within two and half years of my marriage I want to write on 31 reasons why a man needs a woman, I wonder what I will write when my marriage clocks twenty. It also occurred to me is that I will have to wait until December 23 when my woman who I like to call “Abeje” will be 31years old. So what do I need to do? Immediately it dawned on me that celebrating a woman in a man’s life can’t be accomplished without recognizing the effort of a woman.

In his write up, Uncle Lekan opined that “at a stage in a man’s life, he is under pressure to get a woman to marry. Choosing one to settle with for better for worse can be tough.” Sometimes there are two women in one’s life. The first woman’s is not chosen by the man neither was it the making of the woman to choose the man but the arrangement is practically divine. The second woman is the one Uncle Lekan was taking about. Even though choosing her might be tough and sometimes a gamble, this arrangement also has become a divine exercise. I have chosen to write on the first woman. The reason may not be far-fetched; this is a woman I have known for about 33years. So writing to celebrate a woman of her caliber is understandable.

 There is a Yoruba saying that a dirty mouth owns the mother cooking pot. I own my mother, my mother owns me. Every man has a mother. Every man may decide not to marry but every man has a mother whether living or dead.

How I wish I can write extensively on 59 things my mother has done for but I know the little I can write will sum my view up about the unique characteristics of a mother. The first thing my mother has done to her children was giving motherly and undiluted love. No wonder Jide Taiwo sang “I love my mum; my mother loves me no one can be like mother in the world”. The kind of love a mother brings to the fore in the life a child is something that has become a mystery. The secret that God has kept away from man, even though, some mothers are said to be wicked, I think the percentage vis-a-vis loving caring and tender hearted mothers is small. And that explains the reason why a man will allow tears to run a short distance races on hearing the death of his mother no matter the age she bids the world goodbye.

My experience is something I always want to share with my friends, colleagues and neighbors. I may not be saying this because she got married to a man with high libido (who married four wives with 13 children). It is not because my mother has chosen to take care of her five children in-spite of the challenges in the family. It is not because she decided to remain a Christian despite signing a dotted line with an Alhaji. I am not just celebrating my mother because as a wife of retired police officer, she still has a bragging right.

My mother at 59, has done more than anybody on this planet earth. With due respect to my father, this woman has contributed immensely to the achievements I can point at today. I remember in the year 2000 when I wanted to write my School Certificate examination how my mother went out of her way to ensure that I wrote the examination.

The poor woman packed all her clothes, went to Oje market in Ibadan and sold everything. My mother gave me the money I paid for the registration of West African School Certificate Examination in 2000. When I was going to St. Patrick’s Grammar School Orita Bashorun Ibadan to pay my WAEC fees something dropped in my mind. “If my mother can sell her clothes for me to write this examination, if fail, what would she sell to re-sit examination” The reality dawned on me that I must not fail the examination.

This one out of thousands of sacrifices my mother has made for her children changed my mentality about success. Today, I have the testimony that since year 2000 I haven’t failed in any examination. Forget about the JAMB Result. I don’t even want to remember Mass communication Department of The polytechnic Ibadan (main campus) that sacrifices merit on the altar of man-know-man, and the evil genius Reverend HOD. 
What else can I say than to appreciate God for the life of my Asake. The 59 in the headline is not about epistles on what my mother did for me, it is a tribute to the woman who has taught me how to have faith in God. It is to eulogies the contribution of a woman who has instilled in me self-belief. It is to celebrate a woman who out of nothing gave me something to share. It is a call to appreciate a mother who refused to bow to pressure to abandon me even when it seems I will not live to see today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEACONESS GRACE OLUFUNMILAYO